When God said ‘pause’, we listened: here is what happened.
On January 8, 2024, God gave me a very vivid vision.
I saw my hand holding a few crayons and I was drawing on a crisp, white sheet of paper. The colors were very vibrant and beautiful, and they blended seamlessly. As I continued coloring, the pretty blues, greens, pinks, and golds started to merge together until I could no longer differentiate the individual tones – it became a gray blob of scribble.
Yet, without taking a break from drawing, God began to extend the white sheet of paper beneath my hand right before my eyes; He gave me more space. 🥹 As I continued to color, the bright colors started to emerge again, giving me the vibrancy and clarity I needed to see.
While coloring, I never lifted my hand off the paper. This revealed to me that my past experiences are not discarded. They are integrated as a big part of my story — a piece of my testimony. Revelation 21:5 says:
“He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new! Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty, I will give water without any cost from the spring water of life.”
As someone who wears many hats, career wise, my path has been shaped by some crazy faith with quite a few bucket loads of grief, yet it is all wrapped in the unwavering decision to choose God no matter what I went through.
Have you ever felt a tug from the Lord that seemed so scary, unknown, and hard, yet behind it you could sense an unwavering peace? I've recently experienced this.
Late 2023, I completely paused the social media portion of My Prayer Space. Not because things were going poorly or that something was wrong, but when God says "pause," I listen. In 2023, I realized I had been going through a really long-term hardship. It had taken its toll on me and at my lowest point mentally, I felt God inviting me to release some burdens from my shoulders and to place them into His hands.
His nudge was unambiguous — there was no wiggle room or exception. He was calling me nearer, saying with clarity and care: "come closer," so I did. Although I didn't full understand the why at that moment, I know it now. God needed to get His hand on me in a deeper way. There were areas of hurt I needed healing in, and my busyness was crowding out time for intimacy with Him.
Yes, me! The person who finds her footing in her alone time with God, the very essence of who I am, the reason behind all I do — He was calling me deeper still. Now, when I tell you I thought I was managing well, I truly did!
I have an amazing brand manager and a wonderful assistant. Although modeling fills most of my time, up until August, I was also working 3 nights every month at the hospital (medical lab assistant). I really felt like I was balancing everything sufficiently. Not to mention an amazing husband who never takes his eye off of me; he's like a hawk circling its prey to make sure I am always well-fed, well-rested, and not going to keel over. Bless his protective heart!
However, with the complex grief that I have carried for years now, it had intensified; In order to truly heal, I had to release a lot of what defined me into His hands, so He could prune me from the inside out and take me through the refining fire to bring me to a deeper restoration of who He wanted me to be. In simpler terms, He wanted to make me a more grounded woman of God. None of my circumstances has changed, yet, I can say, and share with anyone who has ears to hear and eyes to see, that God has healed me.
Quick story! One particular Sunday at church, our pastor came into the audience and started praying over certain individuals he felt led to. While he was praying for others, I was smiling at those he prayed for, because I deeply knew they would be next.
As I smiled and thanked God, a senior pastor looked at me, pointed, and mouthed the words, "and YOU are already healed." The joy I felt was so overwhelming, I had to take a seat and journal so that I could remember the details of this later. How amazing our God is!
[Side note: journaling is indeed a way to remember God's faithfulness over time. There are moments when we may forget what He has done, but blessed are those who can look back and remember all His wonderful works — they cannot be easily shaken.]
I was in the trenches! More than I could articulate to anyone, but God. Healed. Me! I pray as you spend time with God daily in your consistent corner, that you will also feel Him removing the burden and replacing it with peace.
As I prepare to relaunch, I am overwhelmed by the amount of stories and moments I have where the Lord showed His very hand in my life through scripture, dreams, words out of people mouths God directly chose to speak into me, and so much more, I am floored.
He spoke loudly and I’d like to share 5 gems that stood out to me over this year, as I transitioned out of a career that I loved into dedicating myself to design prayer spaces full time and to my professional modeling career:
1. Don't do anything scared, do everything called.
Fear can really and truly paralyze us, but a sense of calling from God should propels us forward. When I felt the nudge to pause My Prayer Space on social media, it was daunting. Then, when the Lord led it into a full pause, I chose to act not out of fear, but out of a conviction that this was God's call for me. I encourage you to root actions in purpose rather than anxiety.
2. Pharaoh asked for proof when he should have asked for faith. Ask for faith.
In the biblical narrative, Pharaoh repeatedly demanded signs from Moses, missing the larger picture of God's plan! Similarly, we often seek tangible proof before we're willing to trust, but true growth comes when we ask God to increase our faith instead. When I was considering leaving my career, I had to trust God's guidance without seeing the full picture.
3. Don't expect God to worry the way that you do.
Our human perspective is so limited, and we often project our anxieties onto God. But, His ways are higher than ours! During my period of pause and reflection, I had to constantly remind myself that God's peace surpasses all understanding. He doesn't fret over the details that consume us, but instead, He sees the grand tapestry of our lives. Still, He provided the details.
4. Delayed obedience is still disobedience.
After God was speaking so clearly and I sought after Him desperately, I realized I was becoming more afraid of staying in a career I loved than letting it go. This taught me that when we sense God's direction, timely obedience is crucial. Procrastination or hesitation can hinder the blessings God has in store. And on the other side of obedience, I see why prompt action was necessary. Things are beautiful here, in ways I couldn't have imagined.
5. It is time to be God's people on purpose.
This journey has reinforced the importance of intentional living. Being a follower of God isn't a passive state; it's an active choice we make daily. As I relaunch My Prayer Space with new offerings [subscribe to find out what we have up our sleeves!], I'm committed to purposefully aligning every aspect of my life and work with God's will. This isn't just about personal growth—it's a call for all of us to consciously embody our faith in every action and decision.
Where is God calling you to step out in faith or to be more intentional in your walk with Him?
Leaning into the Lord and leaving my dream career was not a crisis move, but a fresh moment. God has done something new with me, not just for me, but for His glory.
Remember, just as God called me to pause and drew me closer, He may be inviting you into a deeper relationship, too. Your prayer space can be the starting point for this journey. Whether through joy or hardship, He's always working to refine us and make us more grounded in Him.
As we move forward together, I encourage you to consider how you might carve out your own "consistent corner" — a space where you can connect with God daily. It's in these quiet moments that we often hear His voice most clearly and feel His healing touch. Let's step into this new season with faith, trusting that God is making all things new.
The canvas of our lives is still being painted, and with God as the artist, the masterpiece will be more beautiful than we can imagine. As we wrap up, breathe with me: iinhale through your nose, and exhale through your mouth! Slow and steady. 🕊️
If you are deeply struggling with anything, please reach out! I am here for you, even if it is just a simple "I need prayer, Dom".
